Do I Look Like A Therapist?
by 117xxSCxx711
Summary: What happens when Bailey gets fed up? Callie and Arizona better look out  :


I walk up towards the nurses station, in search of my new nine year old boys chart. Rolling my eyes at two giggling nurses and ignoring McHair making googly eyes at Grey I slide up to the desk. "Room 205 please?" I ask the Nurse. As she hands me the chart Torres mumbles, "She kissed me... I didn't kiss her."

She went back to reviewing her twelve yearold patients chart as I looked up and around bewhildered my eyes searching for the person Torres was addressing. Finally realizing the comment was ment for me, I let loose 'The Look' On her. Oh yes, I know that I have a look, I know the fear it causes, but some residents just don't get it. " Excuse me?" I say sharply turning towards Torres my arms crossed over my chest.

Callie, oblivious to the fact that she had messed with an overtired Bailey, started to ramble "You know the new head of PED's? Of course you do. You're on her service today. Well last night at Joe's she..." I cut her off there.

"Oh no you will not come to me about this do I look like freaking doctor Phil to you? Why does everyone assume that I'm the Go-to girl for advice? Plus I haven't even had my mocha yet!" It was true. I was nothing without my daily mocha.

She gives me a pleading look, "But.. Please! Bailey you're the only one who knows that I'm not playing the whole drunken whore game anymore... you know.. not batting for that team or whatever.."

I give her a hard look and grab her arm steering her into the nearest confrence room. "You have 30 seconds. Go."

Torres takes a deep breath and she's in full on ramble, "Well I was in the bathroom and she kissed me and I kind of kissed her back but we had never met before and then she was all 'you'll know' and I was FREAKING out and she smiled and I was like..." She trailed off as Robbins walked into the room.

"There you are Miranda! I have been looking everywhere, for…" her sentence slowly drifted off as she spotted Torres sitting in the spinning chair. "Oh ! Well.. It seems you're busy so I'll leave you two.." I cut her off then and there. No way was I dealing with stupid lesbian drama. It wasn't happening

. "Oh no! Doctor Robbins, you will stay." Both woman adopted similar looks of fright. I watched as Arizona tried frantically to grasp at some sense of control.

"And what makes you think you can make me do anything Dr. Bailey? I am the attending and you are a resident! You have no say in where I am or am not!" She smiled as if she had come to the most amazing conclusion.

I just roll my eyes and give her 'The Look'. "Because you are perky and wheel around in childrens shoes, and they used to call me The Nazi now SIT!" I watch with pleasure as Robbins sighs in defeat and sinks down into a chair. I take a deep breath in and begin, "This is worse than the new interns cutting themselves open.. is, puppy dog looks and freaked out awkward conversations. Now. You two will talk about you antics. And I will listen . Not because I am doctor Phil. Not because I actually give two pennies worth of a care about this but because Torres is freaking out. And a freaking out Torres is a bad thing for me. Last time a girl kissed her, it didn't turn out well, we had a zombie walking around for far far too long. I swear to god Robbins, if you break this girls heart for the third time I will have to hurt you!"

I watch in amazment as Robbins stands up and turns to leave, her hand on the door she turns around and quietly she says, "See, this, this is what I try to avoid. Your all broken and sad and, I don't know if I can deal with that; again. I'm sorry Calliope. You're beautiful. But I just can't." With this she turned to leave.

Something inside of me snapped as I watched one of my bestfriends in this hospital visably shake and tears come to her eyes, "If one more freaking curl on that blonde head of yours so much as shakes, I will have to kill you." I snap. I watch as Robbins slowly turns around and stares incredibly at me.

"You will kill me? Is that not kind of extreme Bailey?" She looks kind of frightened. I know I should feel something other then pleased right now.. Intead I continue,

"Sit now. Before I hurt you. I may not kill you but I will grab you by the hair. And pull. Extremely hard." Robbins looks at me and slowly sinks into the seat. I watch her glance at Torres but her gaze turns quickly away when she saw the beautiful resident staring at her.

I roll my eyes and look back and forth between the two of them. Fed up I threw my hands into the air. "Damn it your both grown woman can you not speak? Calliope Torres you were in the god damned peace corps and you afraid of talking to a damn perky PED's surgeon with wheels on her shoes? And you," I shift to look at Arizona. "You're acting like the little kids you treat! Get over it, Callie's broken, but she is probably the most caring compassionate understanding fun person you will ever meet so get over it, kiss her, I will leave and lock the door, and then just get together because you," I say pointing at Robbins "Are so freaking puppy dog eyed over her its sickening. And watching you gliding around on those damn heelies and falling on your ass every time you see her is not helping me in my studies in pediatrics at all. And you," I say whirling on Torres, "Have never looked this way even when you were freaking married to O'Mallie so don't start the whole what are you talking about speech Callie Torres I know you too well!"

"I…" Callie couldn't seem to finish her sentence and started blushing,

I watch Arizona looked up in surprise. "You were Married to George.. that's who O'Mallie is right? The little Bambi looking resident?" She said speaking to Callie for the first time. I snicker watching the resident squirm. Still not looking the Peds surgeon in the eye Torres nodded, "Yea, for like two months or something," She mumbled, finally locking eyes with the blonde. I watch Robbins turn red and bite down on her lip. I smirk watching Torres's face until,

"Arizona? Are you… you jealous?" The girl catches on fast. There still may be hope yet!

"No!" Robbins answered far too fast, quickly looking away, "well maybe a bit but seriously? O'Mallie? And you didn't know you were.. Er I mean…" she trailed off again and I snickered.

"You two remind me of like when the band nerd falls for the cheerleader in high school." Torres looks up at me and laughs,

"I was the band nerd in high school!"

I watch as Arizona looks at Callie and laughs,

"Seriously? I was the captian of the Cheerteam!"

They start laughing together and I just look on and smile. After their laughter subsided the room was quite again and I look up and sigh, "You two are more awkward then a… a… a beaver without teeth! Or a surgeon without a scalpel! Or than my sentence it turning out to be!" Yeah... I should have thought that one out better.

Arizona and Callie look at each other and burst out laughing. And Arizona starts to speak "So, Calliope, do you want to start over? Go on uhm a uhh dinner date with me?"

I look up at the use of Calliope, ready for the ortho surgeon to kill perky Peds surgeon. But Callie just smiled softly at Arizona and said, "How about this, instead of an awkward first date we go back to my house, watch some movies and just hang out?"

Arizona looked up, and smiled dimples full force "That sounds super!"

I laugh and walk towards the door but I hesitated, "Torres!"

"Yes Bailey?" She squeeks

"Two things, first, whatever you do don't let her perkiness rub off on you, and B don't mess this one up."With this I open the door, out of the corner of my eye I see Arizona look up at Callie with a small frown,

"I'm not THAT perky, am I?"


End file.
